I have a dirty little secret.
I love reading comment sections, and the more controversial, the better. Whenever I see a post that might cause conflict, the first thing I do is run to the dumpster fire that is the comment sections. It’s a problem, and it’s ugly. I know.
99.9% of the time I don’t comment. I just read and silently agree or disagree. And on those rare occasions when I do comment, the Holy Spirit gets a hold of me and I delete it.
Here’s the trouble with comment sections and social media in general: people are emboldened by anonymity to type things out that they most likely would never say if they were face to face with someone. I believe that because typing is one of the most prevalent types of communication in our modern world, that we need to pay just as much attention, maybe even more, to our typed out words as we do our spoken words.
It’s easy to drop a verbal firestorm in a comment section and leave the scene. We don’t know those people and we will most likely never see them in person. We rarely ever have to deal with the fallout of our words with strangers. Maybe we are more careless and thoughtless when we express our opinions online because we aren’t at risk of losing anything when we argue with strangers. If we behaved as brashly in our close relationships, they wouldn’t last or they’d be pretty toxic.
While we may never deal with the fallout of some of our words on this side of Heaven, we need to know that we will deal with them. The Bible assures us that one day, we will stand at judgment and we will be held accountable for every idle word. Not just some of the words we allow to escape from our lips, but all of them.
“But I tell you, on the day of judgment men will have to give account for every idle (inoperative, nonworking) word they speak. For by your words you will be justified and acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned and sentenced.”
Matthew 12:36-37 AMPC
Heavy. I know.
When I take a moment to consider every idle, inoperative, non-working word I speak throughout the day, it is staggering.
As a person who goes to excessive lengths to avoid confrontation, I rarely aim words at people that ruffle feathers. However, as a “wordy” person, I have honed the skill of using my words as weapons when I “need” to, and have had to learn to pause and keep my mouth shut. I don’t have this down perfectly, believe me, but I am much more aware than I’ve ever been.
As I’ve meditated on the verse above, and many others (scripture has a lot to say about our words) I have become more cognizant of the potential dangers of allowing my words to flow unchecked. Be they from my mouth or my fingertips. I am aware when I call someone an idiot in traffic. I am taking notice when I am impatient and mumble under my breath. When I start to type out a hasty or harsh comment, email or text I pause and reconsider. I am also giving more thought to the things I come into agreement with, just by speaking. How often we speak death over our own selves!
Have you ever considered that your tongue holds the power to create life or death, and you get to choose which creative power you’re going to unbridle? Now consider that whichever you choose, you reap the consequences of.
“A man’s [moral] self shall be filled with the fruit of his mouth; and with the consequence of his words he must be satisfied [whether good or evil]. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. [Matt. 12:37.]”
Proverbs 18:20-21 AMPC
The passion translation says it like this:
“Sharing words of wisdom is satisfying to your inner being. It encourages you to know that you’ve changed someone else’s life. Your words are so powerful that they will kill or give life, and the talkative person will reap the consequences.”
Proverbs 18:20-21 TPT
Our words have power to build up, unify, and encourage, and yet, sometimes we use them to tear down and destroy. Our words have power to agree or disagree with God. We have the decision to either come into alignment with what God says about things, or what the god of this world says.
Our tongues can become weapons for the kingdom, or against it. Our words can be wise and healing, or sharp and cutting.
“Reckless words are like the thrusts of a sword, cutting remarks meant to stab and to hurt. But the words of the wise soothe and heal.”
Proverbs 12:18 TPT
I am sure every person reading this right now has experienced the thrust of a verbal sword, and the lingering pain, shame, and destruction of those cutting words. I am also certain that we have all said things to people that wounded them and cut them deeply. If you just read that and God brought a person or argument to your mind, stop and repent. Apologize today if you need to.
One of the dangers of our modern society, is how quickly we forget that the things we’re seeing, reading and commenting on might not even be true. Our tongues take us right on over into gossip and slander, and we don’t recognize it because we aren’t whispering with other people about people we know. We’re discussing the lives and behaviors of people we have never met.
Most of us know the commandment “Thou shalt not commit murder…” and would never dream of taking another life, but we give no thought to character assassination, slander, and the social murder of someone’s reputation.
“There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.” Proverbs 6:16-19
That is pretty strong language. “Six things The Lord hates.” Sometimes we cover three of those (a lying tongue, a false witness, stirring up conflict in the community) when we drop a comment on a post about a person we’ve never met. Seriously. We just flippantly comment, and move on with our day, and at the same time we participate in things The Lord hates. Oomph.
Now, that we’ve gotten that painful stuff out of the way… think back to a time when someone used their words to encourage and build you up. When someone had words of wisdom that soothed or healed you. Sit with those warm and fuzzy feelings for a moment. Selah.
What steps do we need to take to become people who do more of that?
I think we can start by steering clear of comment sections. At least, I know I can and need to. We also need to learn to practice the pause and ask ourselves “Is what I am about to say : 1. True 2. Necessary 3. Kind 4. Helpful ?”
Sometimes, in our interpersonal relationships, when we withhold a response, it gives space for the other person to reconsider their own words. When we pause in an angry or frustrated moment, we give ourselves space to cool down and respond later in a healthy and healing way instead of a heated, hot-headed, and destructive way.
We hold the power. We can be people who start blazing fires that destroy everything in their path, or we can be people who tamp them out with wisdom and a little bit of kindness. The choice is ours. Let’s choose better in 2022.
“A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.”James 3:3-6 MSG
Oaks of Righteousness 
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